Evening Standard
04/16/97
ROCK 'n' roll poets have long been declared an endangered species, so it was with some surprise that I encountered one in a Soho pub the other week. He said his name was Martin Newell and I could tell he was a poet by the way he gazed darkly through his glass of port.
He also admitted to being a pop singer, although his continued participation in the latter occupation had been a close-run thing: ‘I really didn't want to be some sad old git flogging his tired old mutton round the stages of Europe,’ he muttered with some feeling. Martin once released an LP called The Greatest Living Englishman, and it sits well with the work of other nutters like Robyn Hitchcock, Julian Cope, Andy Partridge and Captain Sensible. He views his peers with amused resignation: ‘It's ironic that in the Eighties us lot were bashing away in our thoroughly British manner. Then when they suddenly decide it's time for a bit of Britpop, we've missed the boat!’
Martin admits to liking Blur and Oasis, but reserves special praise for Dodgy whose defiantly anti-fashion stance appeals to him. As well as fashion, he also has a profound distrust of significance in musical matters.
‘A journalist said to me the other day, “I know so many people who say their lives have been changed by your last LP. Do you have any message for them?” I told him to tell them to take a cold shower. It's only pop music.’
Newell also has no time for the idea of pop longevity. ‘I don't want to be a venerable songwriter and attract an audience of 50-year-old people with elephant-cord trousers and duck-billed shoes they've ordered out of the back of The Guardian,’ he sniffs disdainfully. ‘Did you know I used to be a gardener? I once considered changing my stage name to The Hedge.’
Yes, yes, Martin, but what about the poetry? Will you write me a poem? ‘Of course,’ he replied gravely, reaching for a stub of pencil. Here it is:
Jarvis Cocker: A Poem
Jarvis Cocker was too frail for soccer
Undaunted but unhealthy
His weakness made him wealthy
And on a pin-up basis
He's bigger than Oasis
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